1

gah.

4.10.2013

so here's the deal. i'm writing this, tears down my face, and my winter coat still on. i just got home. fifteen hours out of the house.

this has been my life.
everyday.
for the past two months.

wake up at 6.
go to school.
learn.
go to practice.
go to ______.
get home late.
cry.
go to bed.
sleep for 6 hours.
repeat.

it hasn't been pretty. and i don't want you to think it is. some of you may follow my instagram and/or twitter. i do both. a lot. but do not get me wrong when i say my life is not perfect. i fight a constant battle with my school life and my social life. i wish for a life i can't have. i stress myself out over homework. i strive for perfectionism. but i will never get it.

last year i decided to embark on the journey of IB diploma.  (basically all advanced classes.) ha. you guys. i am an insane woman because of it. and i am nearing my breaking point.

i haven't posted in two months. and i just wanted you to know that i still exist. and that i'm not perfect. because i see a lot of bloggers out there that appear to live perfect lives. don't fall for it. no one is perfect.

love you guys. :)

p.s. prayers would sooo be appreciated.

p.p.s. this is a really vulnerable post. please be nice.

15 comments:

  1. I wrote something similar to this today and am just trying to build the courage to post it... Simply said, no one is perfect, but it's so easy through blogging and instagram and twitter to just share the happy parts of our lives. I still can't decide whether that's good or bad.

    Anyways, keep your chin up, lovely lady! It will all be better soon! :)

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  2. I'm praying for you, dear! I just wanna give you a hug! Everything's gonna be okay - God sees the big picture, and something good can come out of the hard times <3

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  3. It's encouraging to know that we all don't have picture perfect lives all the time. Thank you for stepping out and sharing this, Alex.
    I will be praying for you!

    Just know that you are not alone.

    "cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7)
    " I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." (psalm 121:1-2)

    ::hugs:: to you friend!

    Much love,

    Madi

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  4. I hope you're dealing okay. I was just accepted into the pre-IB program - is it honestly that awful?!

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    1. thanks grace :) IB is not that bad. it's all time management. and it reallly prepares you for college and life. trust me. if you enjoy a challenge, IB is right for you. you will have your ups and downs. don't get me wrong. but it's all a part of life. you can do it. :)

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  5. Just found your lovely blog, and I immediately appreciated your honesty. This post made me glad that I am not the only one that thinks that "everyone else's" lives are perfect. Thank you.
    Life can be so exhausting and hard.
    You can do it!

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  6. oh alex!! praying for you. that sounds SOOO overwhelming. don't worry, love, summer is coming soon and graduation is just in a year-ish. :)

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  7. LAST NIGHT I CRIED (A LOT) IN BED AND FELT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. you're not alone in how you feel. thinking of you and praying for you...xx

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  8. i know your feelings; i feel like i was reading something i would have written lately. although my day isn't quite as crazy as yours is, i can relate. crying myself to sleep, and feeling just the same way. praying for you, Alex! hang in there! <3<3

    xx.

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  9. praying, girl! amen to the perfect blogger thing. i'm so over it right now.
    and i COMPLETELY understand you with the school thing. while i'm not doing IB, i've heard how hard it is. and my school does somewhat similar things. so most days, i feel like i'm drowning in school and i want to blog, take photos, live life, whatever, but i can't. it's hard. i'm praying for you (and it sounds like the day got better!) <3

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  10. THIS IS MY LIFE RIGHT HERE. Everyday. I wake up at six too, and I'm also in all advanced classes and one AP class. I totally feel you, and I totally understand.

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